


How High The Mountains Rise

by WinterSky101



Series: JJ Style Week 2017 [7]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Background Relationships, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grand Prix Final, Grand Prix Final Banquet, JJ Style Week, Post-Grand Prix Final
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 04:56:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11502207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterSky101/pseuds/WinterSky101
Summary: Katsuki Yuuri corners JJ at the GPF Banquet.





	How High The Mountains Rise

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for the event JJ Style Week, for the seventh prompt: Free Day. Title comes from "Theme of King JJ."
> 
> This fic takes place directly after the events of [_Even If The Night Should Fall_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11442060).

JJ's conversation with Otabek helps, but he still keeps thinking about his short program, about stepping off the ice to the lowest score of his senior career, about standing on the podium with a medal he doesn't deserve. The thoughts come to him whenever he doesn't have a distraction, so he makes distractions. He dances with Isabella, chats with Giacometti, takes selfies with Chulanont, lightheartedly teases Plisetsky. He doesn't let himself sit still long enough to think.

Katsuki has been giving him thoughtful looks throughout the whole banquet, so JJ avoids him. Avoiding him means avoiding Nikiforov as well, since they haven't left each other's side all night. JJ tries not to think about it.

"I'll be right back," Isabella tells him after they finish their latest dance, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks flushed. "I've got to go to the bathroom. Do you know where the bathroom is?"

"Over there, babe," JJ replies, pointing. "Come back soon."

"I will," Isabella promises, heading to the bathroom. JJ sips a glass of champagne and watches her go with a soft smile.

(If he doesn't redeem himself, she'll leave him for good-)

JJ downs the rest of his champagne and looks around desperately for something to distract him. He can talk to Otabek again, or maybe chat with Chulanont, or-

"Um, JJ?"

Katsuki looks oddly shy for a twenty-four year old silver medalist. "Hey!" JJ says, hoping his smile looks genuine. Katsuki doesn't know him well enough to tell the difference, right? "Congrats on your silver. And on your fiancé. Sorry about the other day at that café, that was out of line."

Katsuki blinks. "Oh. That's fine. Uh, your fiancée already apologized for it. It was probably rude for all of us to walk out too."

JJ hums noncommittally, eyeing Katsuki warily. Katsuki has been looking at him all throughout the banquet, and JJ doesn't know why.

(Maybe Katsuki wants to tell him that he shouldn't have gotten bronze, that he was pathetic on the ice, that-)

"Want a drink?" JJ asks, grabbing two glasses of champagne and holding one out to Katsuki. "The banquets always have pretty good champagne."

Katsuki looks at the glass in surprise, his eyes wide behind his glasses. Something about him looks very young, even though he's five years older than JJ. "Um, no, thank you. I'm not drinking tonight."

"You do you, I guess," JJ replies, sipping from one of the glasses of champagne. He puts the other down, either for Isabella when she gets out of the bathroom or for him if he finishes this glass first.

"JJ, I…" Katsuki looks distinctly uncomfortable, but he barrels on. "I wanted to talk to you. Um, about your short program."

JJ goes still. His heart starts to pound. So Katsuki  _is_  here to tell him he was pathetic. JJ wouldn't have expected that from him.

"What about it?" JJ asks, his voice a little shaky. At his side, he clenches his fist until his nails press into his palm. He's careful not to grip the champagne glass too tightly, but he wants to.

"Nothing bad!" Katsuki says quickly. "I, um, I actually… Well, I'm sure you remember my performance at the Final last year."

JJ does remember. Katsuki's short program had been almost flawless, but his free skate had been a mess. JJ had thought, last year, that it was fairly sad. This year, he knows he has no room to judge.

"My dog died the morning of the free skate," Katsuki explains, so at least he had a reason to completely self-destruct on the ice, unlike JJ. "And then my anxiety hit me, and my free skate was… not good." Katsuki looks up at JJ, shrugging in a distinctly self-deprecating manner. "So I know what it's like to have anxiety problems on the ice."

JJ feels cold. "I don't have anxiety problems," he says, which is a blatant lie, and now everyone  _knows_  it's a blatant lie because he had a goddamn  _anxiety attack_  on the ice, but JJ's still clinging to the last shreds of his persona, no matter how much it's shattering.

Katsuki, instead of calling JJ out, looks startled. "Oh. I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume anything, I just thought-" His cheeks are getting flushed, and he starts fidgeting with the ends of his sleeves. "Sorry, I'll just-"

Katsuki moves to flee, and JJ feels a strange mix of guilt and empathy. He knows this feeling, and he doesn't want to cause it in other people if he can help it. Katsuki seems nice. He went out of his way to be nice to JJ, for God's sake. "I-" JJ starts, his voice too loud. Katsuki turns, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. "I-" JJ begins again, much quieter. "I might have some anxiety problems."

Katsuki blinks, then he looks around the room. "We don't have to talk about it here, if you don't want to," he offers. "If you want privacy."

JJ considers the offer for a moment, then nods. "I should tell Bella first, though."

"I'll tell Viktor," Katsuki replies. "Where do you want to go to talk?"

JJ shrugs. "There a café down the street that's open twenty-four hours."

"Meet you there?" Katsuki asks.

"Be there in five," JJ replies, trying to smile. He has the feeling that Katsuki can tell the difference between his real and fake smiles, but performing is second nature to him by this point. Katsuki offers him a small smile of his own, then he melts back into the crowd. JJ looks around for Isabella, only to notice her looking at him with a fond smile from the refreshments table.

"Were you talking with Katsuki?" Isabella asks. "He's nice. I was talking to him and Nikiforov earlier."

"He and I are going to go to that café down the street to talk a bit more," JJ replies. "Can you keep my parents from freaking out?"

"I'll do my best," Isabella promises. She kisses JJ's cheek and smiles at him. "Tell me when you're heading back, okay?"

"Will do," JJ promises. "See you later, babe."

JJ slips out of the banquet hall and heads to the café. He gets a fruit smoothie and sits down at a little table. The café is empty except for the bored cashier behind the counter. JJ's only there for about two minutes before Katsuki arrives, ordering a hot chocolate before sitting across the table.

"So." JJ says, stirring his smoothie with his straw. He feels uncomfortable all of a sudden. The conversation with him and Katsuki suddenly seems more professional, with the two of them sitting across the table from each other.

Katsuki takes a sip of his hot chocolate and sets it down, looking down at the cup. After a moment, he gets up and moves his chair so he's sitting next to JJ instead of across from him. "This feels more comfortable," he explains. "I mean, I can move back if you want, but-"

"It's better," JJ interrupts. He summons up his trademark JJ flirtatious grin and adds, "You know, a lot of people would kill to be in this position. Having a private conversation with King JJ!"

Katsuki ducks his head. "I don't know if anyone would kill to have a private conversation with me."

"People probably would," JJ assures him. "I mean, you're a world-famous figure skater. You just won silver at the Grand Prix Final. You've got a pretty big fan club."

Katsuki looks startled. "I do?"

JJ blinks. "Um, yeah? Do you not interact with your fans?"

"Not really. I didn't know I had any."

JJ can't quite believe that Katsuki is real. "You definitely have a lot."

"Huh." Katsuki still looks surprised. "You probably have more."

"My JJ Girls are pretty great," JJ replies proudly. "Did you know Isabella used to be a JJ Girl? Now she's sort of the head of the JJ Girls, since we're engaged."

"Viktor's my biggest fan too," Katsuki replies with a soft smile. "I think it's a requirement for a fiancé."

"Yeah, Bella's great," JJ agrees.

Suddenly, a thought occurs to him - what will his JJ Girls think of his performance at the Grand Prix Final? He's not sure what would be worse: if they all left him, or if they kept up their rabid support when he so clearly doesn't deserve it.

JJ tucks his hands under the table as they start to shake.

Katsuki notices, and JJ wonders if it's just because he's keeping a close eye on him or if Katsuki is using his own experience to know what to look out for. He seems to have similar anxiety problems to JJ, although he retreats to hide them instead of putting up a front like JJ does. JJ can't help but wonder if that might be a better idea.

"So, um, do you want to talk?" Katsuki asks. After he says it, he has a look on his face like he's internally kicking himself, a feeling JJ knows well. "I mean, talk about the anxiety stuff. Like we were talking about before. We don't have to if you don't want to."

"I've never had it mess with me on the ice before," JJ admits. "I mean, I have a bit, but never like that. I've never had a-" He can't say the words. "You know. One of those. On the ice."

"Anxiety attacks are the worst," Katsuki agrees. "Um, this might be a little personal, and you don't have to answer, but do you go to therapy?"

"No," JJ replies, shaking his head. He doesn't want anyone to know about his problems with anxiety, and if he goes to a therapist, there's no way it'll be a secret for long. "You?"

"I did for a little while, in Detroit." Katsuki shrugs. "It didn't help that much. I tried some medication too, but it made me gain weight, and that made it hard to skate."

"I just want to not have to deal with it," JJ admits, stirring his smoothie. "You know, like, other skaters? They don't have to deal with this. Most other people don't. My brother and sister don't have anxiety attacks. Bella doesn't have to deal with anxiety. How come we do?"

Katsuki shrugs. "Genetics? Something with our brains? I don't know. I wish I didn't have to deal with it either."

"How do you deal with it?" JJ asks. "I mean, look at you. Your free skate was amazing. You broke a world record. You only lost to Plisetsky by like a tenth of a point. You've gotta be doing  _something_  right."

Katsuki sighs and looks down at his hot chocolate. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to," JJ says quickly, wondering if his question was too personal. Katsuki is known for being a bit prickly, and although JJ thinks it's probably more from anxiety than any actual standoffishness, he doesn't want to push too far.

"No, it's okay," Katsuki replies. "Last season, I was in a really bad place. I bombed the Grand Prix Final, and then I bombed Nationals, and that was the end of my season. I was going to retire, actually. And then that video came out."

"Came out?" JJ parrots. "You mean you didn't mean to post it?"

"Oh, God, no," Katsuki replies, shaking his head firmly. "I was just showing an old friend how I learned Viktor's routine, and her kids filmed it and posted it online. I didn't want anyone but Yuuko to ever see it, but that clearly didn't happen."

"It was a good routine," JJ offers. "I watched it."

"Yeah, you and the rest of the world," Katsuki replies wryly. "And Viktor watched it too, and since I made a fool of myself over him at the banquet last year, he decided to show up in my hometown and coach me."

JJ blinks. "Wait,  _what_?"

Katsuki shrugs, looking a little self-conscious. "Yeah, it was kinda crazy."

"He just showed up out of nowhere?"

"Well, he thought the video was a sign from me after the banquet," Katsuki explains. "I mean, it wasn't, but he thought it was."

"Well, it seemed to work out for you," JJ offers.

Katsuki smiles. "Yeah, it did," he agrees. "Viktor is a big part of the reason why I was able to do so well this season. He helped me learn to have more faith in myself." Katsuki looks at JJ with a surprisingly piercing look. "Other people can't make you do better. They can't fix you. But you can lean on them, and that helps a lot."

JJ's mouth suddenly feels very dry. He slurps some of his smoothie, which is an obnoxiously loud sound in the silence of the café.

"Isabella helps," he finally says. "She doesn't always get it, but she always tries to help."

Katsuki snorts, and the tense moment is gone. "Viktor's the same. He doesn't always do well, but he always tries."

"He seems like a nice guy," JJ offers. He's never talked with Nikiforov much, but he's always seemed nice, if somewhat distant and unapproachable.

Katsuki's smile is very soft. "He is."

A moment later, Katsuki reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. "Speaking of," he murmurs. "Viktor wants to know if we're coming back to the banquet or not. I guess he wants to go back to the hotel room."

"I told Bella to stall with my parents, so I should probably go back and rescue her," JJ replies. He picks up his smoothie and drains the rest of it in one impressively large gulp. Katsuki, he sees, is staring at him over the rim of his hot chocolate mug.

"That's JJ Style!" JJ cries, bringing his cup up to the counter. Katsuki finishes his hot chocolate and brings his mug to the counter as well.

"This was nice," Katsuki says. "Maybe we could do this again at Four Continents."

"Yeah," JJ replies, nodding. He pulls out his phone and holds it out. "Swap numbers?"

Katsuki gives JJ his phone, and JJ programs his number in, saving his name as "King JJ." When he gets his phone back from Katsuki, there's a new number programmed in as "Yuuri Katsuki."

They get back to the banquet hall fairly quickly, but they both linger outside the doors for a moment. "This was nice," JJ says, aware that he's parroting Katsuki's words from a minute ago.

"It was," Katsuki replies. "I hope to see you again soon, JJ."

"You too, Yuuri," JJ replies, because he thinks they're probably on a first name basis now.

The second they step back into the banquet, Nikiforov appears out of no where and grabs Yuuri's arm, talking with extravagant hand gestures about something JJ doesn't catch. He greets JJ quickly before sweeping off with Yuuri, who waves shyly at JJ from over Nikiforov's shoulder.

"How was your talk?" Isabella asks, and JJ jumps about five feet in the air.

"Babe, you scared the  _shit_  out of me!"

"Sorry," Isabella replies, not looking very sorry at all. "How was it?"

"Good," JJ replies, nodding. "It was good." He puts an arm around Isabella's shoulders and kisses the top of her head. "Are you ready to go?"

Isabella smiles up at JJ. "Sure, honey. Let's go."

**Author's Note:**

> My writing tumblr is [here](http://winterskywrites.tumblr.com/), if you're interested.


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